Summary

Episode 451 is here.

Just when you thought you had heard all the crazy stories from Chris he busts out one about a shark, a freakin shark.

We have the latest to do with the world record giant pumpkin, a failed assassination attempt and lots of show me shorts stuff.

Plus we talk about submitting films to festivals, and talk about a man that was mummified and kept on display for 128 years.

All this and much more.

Got check it out and tell a friend.

Links

Half Moon Bay giant pumpkin weigh off
Assassination plot to kill the Queen
Festival formula
Mummified man kept in rest home for 128 years

Show Transcript

This transcript was generated by an AI and may not be 100% accurate. If you have questions about any of the information found here, please reach out to us.

Sam [00:00:06]:

Hello, and welcome to episode 451 of the Chris and Sam Podcast.

Chris [00:00:26]:

I’m Chris.

Sam [00:00:26]:

And I’m Sam. Welcome along to your weekly fix a randomness technology and life themed straight To you from Hamilton, New Zealand.

Chris [00:00:32]:

Yes. Straight into your ear holes.

Sam [00:00:34]:

That’s right. It’s what we like to think about a lot. What’s been happening? I know you’ve been super busy. I’ve been

Chris [00:00:41]:

I’ve been doing all sorts of stuff. Where do I start? So Where

Sam [00:00:44]:

do you start?

Chris [00:00:45]:

We we went to Hamilton. I caught up with Adam McFaul, so we went and saw that this last week.

Sam [00:00:53]:

I think you said that last week.

Chris [00:00:54]:

Did I?

Sam [00:00:54]:

Yes. I remember you mentioning Adam McFall for some reason. That was Oh,

Chris [00:00:57]:

maybe I did. Yes. Alright. Yep. So that’s cool.

Sam [00:01:00]:

Yep. Recap.

Chris [00:01:00]:

Do we

Sam [00:01:01]:

done it?

Chris [00:01:01]:

To recap.

Sam [00:01:02]:

Recap for the recap.

Chris [00:01:03]:

This week. Yeah. This week. So I went to, the show me shorts show me shorts industry day.

Sam [00:01:10]:

I was gonna say it’s not the it it’s an industry day as opposed to the actual Show Me Shorts. Is that correct?

Chris [00:01:15]:

So the Or

Sam [00:01:16]:

does it go straight does it go straight into Show Me Shorts?

Chris [00:01:19]:

Yeah. Yeah. So there was I think there was other days of show me shorts beforehand, and then there’s industry day where we have a couple of workshops, and then we end up seeing Some of the films again. And, of course, the industry day is before the finals, and the finals so, like, one of the films we saw 3 times. Oh, woah. Send

Sam [00:01:36]:

it. Okay. Okay.

Chris [00:01:37]:

The last, screening is all the winners, and this one thing win won. I I wanna Give a shout out, first of all, to one of my favorites of the whole day, and you would love it.

Sam [00:01:49]:

How many is there in total? Do you know?

Chris [00:01:51]:

I’ve got a I’ve got a program booked here.

Sam [00:01:53]:

It’s got a few pages.

Chris [00:01:53]:

And there’s a lot.

Sam [00:01:54]:

There’s quite a few. Okay.

Chris [00:01:56]:

So and I’m gonna I’m gonna talk about because you can see some on demand, and you can pay for it. And I’m gonna tell you which ones that I can definitely say are worth it because I don’t know the others because I haven’t seen the let me get into it.

Sam [00:02:08]:

That’s all that matters.

Chris [00:02:10]:

But, yes, stag hunt. Okay. It’s a short, short. It’s really tight. It’s great. It’s just really, really good New Zealand, short film.

Sam [00:02:22]:

Okay.

Chris [00:02:22]:

And I really need due to see it at some point. I don’t know how we’re gonna wangle that, but you have to see it.

Sam [00:02:28]:

Where is it? Where was it, shot? Somewhere in New Zealand, of course, but

Chris [00:02:31]:

Yeah. He did actually say. It was off outside of Auckland, so it’s in a forestry area outside of Auckland. So he’s he was, yeah, he was shooting there. So On the on demand, if you go to show me shorts, until the 29th October, you can Yeah. You can pay for these things, and it’s, 11.99 for a single session. Yep. A session has several short films in it.

Sam [00:02:56]:

Okay.

Chris [00:02:57]:

Or 39.99 for all 4 on demand sessions. Okay. There’s only 4 on demand sessions. In real life, I think there’s A lot more. 8 or 9.

Sam [00:03:07]:

Okay. Okay.

Chris [00:03:08]:

So there’s quite a lot more. The sessions that you You can get us, or Indonesian Indonesian Focus 2.

Sam [00:03:18]:

Okay.

Chris [00:03:18]:

Or turning up the heat or friendly 2. So there’s obviously a couple of

Sam [00:03:22]:

A mixed there.

Chris [00:03:23]:

And a couple of Indonesians. But yeah. So we saw pretty much Aotearoa T. Oharki Yep. Which was cool. Daughter of God, really good film. Daughter of God? Yes.

Sam [00:03:36]:

And okay. Okay.

Chris [00:03:37]:

And it won it won an award, and I’m gonna I can’t remember which one it won.

Sam [00:03:41]:

Just make it up.

Chris [00:03:42]:

Then It’s a Tamil. Yep. Good. That was awesome.

Sam [00:03:47]:

Is that Indonesian?

Chris [00:03:48]:

Yes. And I’m just guessing. 3 awards. No. No. No. That’s, New Zealand. Oh.

Chris [00:03:52]:

But it’s about a It’s about a Chinese

Sam [00:03:56]:

Okay.

Chris [00:03:56]:

Family, and it’s the kid is, like, 12 years old

Sam [00:04:00]:

Yeah.

Chris [00:04:00]:

And he’s looking after his grandmother who’s got dementia.

Sam [00:04:03]:

Oh, okay. It’s

Chris [00:04:03]:

really cool, and it won, like, 3 of the awards. I didn’t bother writing down which they won. I’m sure it’s on the website. Anu was Pretty cool. It’s 1 woman, Indian woman, actually, in a hotel at COVID just come off the airport. Oh, okay. And there’s basically no dialogue.

Sam [00:04:23]:

Oh. It’s

Chris [00:04:23]:

just her in the room, except there’s, like, phone messages and stuff.

Sam [00:04:27]:

That’s very cool.

Chris [00:04:27]:

But it it’s Interesting. It’s quite quite clever. It’s quite cleverly done. And then, so we watched a couple of those twice. I saw, Actually, all those 3 that I mentioned, I saw twice, I think, because they were finalists and stuff. Yeah. And then t Fuckafitingi. Yep.

Chris [00:04:47]:

T fuckafat fittinga. T fuckafitinga. Yeah. That I saw 3 times. It’s good. It’s not so great after 3rd time, to be honest with you, but it’s good.

Sam [00:04:59]:

You get that. You get that on big jobs.

Chris [00:05:01]:

But that was good because they were like, oh, should we just go? Because there’s this t fuck it to fattinger. Yeah. And then there was 1 we hadn’t seen last.

Sam [00:05:09]:

Oh, okay.

Chris [00:05:09]:

And I was like, no. We gotta stay and watch it. I’m so glad we did.

Sam [00:05:13]:

Oh, okay.

Chris [00:05:14]:

It was an Indonesian thing, and it’s called Basri and Selma, the never ending a never ending comedy, and it is it was batshit. It was it was fantastic.

Sam [00:05:26]:

Okay.

Chris [00:05:27]:

And and it was a good one to end on because quite of the other a lot of the other ones were quite, dour, and this was just nuts and hilarious.

Sam [00:05:36]:

That’s pretty cool. So

Chris [00:05:37]:

yeah. So, anyway, that was a that was a good, good trip, and we’re talking on the way on the way there. Adam and I were talking, and He’s introducing his son, who’s now 11

Sam [00:05:48]:

Yes.

Chris [00:05:49]:

To some films, and he he let him watch predator. He watched predator, but it’s like Yeah. We were talking about that whole and and I’m not a parent, so I don’t Yeah. I I never thought about it. But he’s like, hey. He wants to he wants To watch all the South Park Yes. Kinda but but all his mates watch South Park. So Yeah.

Chris [00:06:07]:

He’s he’s, you know, slowly getting him into South Park. You know? Cartman’s funny, but he’s funny because it is the guy you don’t want to be. You don’t wanna be Cartman. And and and

Sam [00:06:16]:

and South Park, I think, from the very early stuff to the current stuff, It has gone through an evolution. So all the current stuff I feel, the stuff I’ve seen recently, is more Topical with what’s happening in the world Yeah. As opposed to all the random stuff it was in the early days.

Chris [00:06:34]:

I think he was showing him the DVD sets they had, which is the first 2 seasons or 3 seasons or something. So, anyway, we were talking about that, and and one of the things that came up was jaws. And I he goes, I it’s like, I don’t want Him to watch at Jaws too early. Yeah. Because it’s it’s scarred a generation of people who don’t wanna get into the ocean. And I’m like, I think you’re right. I think George should not be shown to people until they’re 18.

Sam [00:07:00]:

I I don’t know. Like, I think back in the day, we had no access to anything else. We had maybe 3 TV stations if we were lucky and the movies. That’s it. There was nothing else. These days, kids are bombarded by everything. Do you know how many times my daughter’s who’s 15, starts telling me about some serial killer?

Chris [00:07:18]:

Yeah. Yeah.

Sam [00:07:18]:

Yeah. Just watching, I don’t know, god knows what, on Netflix and YouTube, about all these serial killers.

Chris [00:07:24]:

Yeah. True.

Sam [00:07:25]:

But I I’ve been doing the movie thing with her as well, but I if I say something like a day before, she’ll look it up. I don’t know where she’s getting that from. But so I just give her a choice. So the other day, it was zombies or aliens. And she goes, oh, aliens. Okay. So we watch Mars Attacks.

Chris [00:07:41]:

Oh, nice.

Sam [00:07:42]:

But and she doesn’t know what’s going on, and she just like, what is going on? Like, okay. And, yeah, there was,

Chris [00:07:49]:

like, a It was funny because, So I was getting to a point, but, yes. So I said, yeah. It was that time that you know, I said, I I felt terrible about, You know, not knowing what’s under you in the sea. And he goes, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That’s a a a natural instinct. And I said, yeah.

Chris [00:08:06]:

Plus that that time I got stuck out at sea with a shark, probably had a thing. And he goes, have you told that story on the podcast? I’m like, I don’t know. I wanna talk to Sam.

Sam [00:08:16]:

No. You haven’t.

Chris [00:08:17]:

And so I was like, oh, well, I’ll I’ll I’ll mention it, and if they haven’t, we’ll tell the story later on. It’s I I I’m

Sam [00:08:24]:

beginning I’ve been doing we’re doing this podcast for a long time now, since, what, 2014? And, I’ve come to realize that if there’s any weird situation that I hear about, anything, and anyone, I just have to assume that you’ve done it or been through it.

Chris [00:08:38]:

I’ll tell we’ll tell that story later. I just wanted to set it up now.

Sam [00:08:42]:

We okay. If you want. Okay.

Chris [00:08:44]:

We’ll tell that story later on in the episode. Let’s carry on.

Sam [00:08:46]:

So did you do some sessions, different stuff at the Showbiz things as well, or did you just watch films?

Chris [00:08:53]:

There there was there was some films, and we, they had, like, q and a. So I asked a lot of questions Yeah. Yeah. Because you know me. But, yeah, Stag Hunt the director of Stag Hunt, so it was the first one we saw, and then he was there, and we asked

Sam [00:09:05]:

him a

Chris [00:09:05]:

couple of questions and, yeah, with a few different, yeah, directors. So that was that was really cool, and then there was a bit of a Working thing and whatnot. So it was cool. Yeah. It was really good.

Sam [00:09:15]:

Of course, you must have been watching the Half Moon Bay giant pumpkin weigh off on Saturday morning like I was being Live stream done. No?

Chris [00:09:23]:

No. No. I missed that. Holy hell. How did I miss that?

Sam [00:09:27]:

I don’t know.

Chris [00:09:27]:

I I

Sam [00:09:28]:

don’t know. I don’t know what I don’t know what you’ve been doing, really. No. So, big way off. It’s in California. And

Chris [00:09:35]:

I’m thinking of the South Island. Isn’t that in in Steward Island, Half Moon Bay?

Sam [00:09:40]:

Oh, maybe. I don’t know. I know half that. I know half Moon Bay as being in California.

Chris [00:09:44]:

Okay. I didn’t know that. Alright. Fair fair call.

Sam [00:09:46]:

There’s probably

Chris [00:09:47]:

hundreds of them around the world. Yeah.

Sam [00:09:48]:

So this is their 50th year running this competition. They’ve got a 50th anniversary ring to give to the winner, which is pretty cool. There’s a guy called Travis Gynja? Gynja? Gynja? I don’t know how you pronounce it. He’s a, botany he teaches is it botany? He teaches, horticulture, I think, at high school. This was Jobbers. Been going for 30 years. Last year, he got the heaviest pumpkin ever grown in North America. So this year, he had

Chris [00:10:15]:

Do you know how big that was?

Sam [00:10:17]:

Nah. Doesn’t matter.

Chris [00:10:18]:

It doesn’t matter.

Sam [00:10:19]:

I don’t know. But he had a pumpkin this year. It was pretty massive. He, last year’s one was called Bear Claw, I think it was. Had a big scratch on it earlier.

Chris [00:10:27]:

I remember you telling me that.

Sam [00:10:28]:

Okay. This one, he’s decided to call Michael Jordan. I don’t know why. Just because he’s the best, and this pumpkin’s supposed to be the best. But he lives in Minnesota. Right?

Chris [00:10:38]:

Yeah. Which It’s a long way Yeah. From California.

Sam [00:10:42]:

So but he decides to make the trek, and I the pumpkin. Yeah. The mental. 33 hours.

Chris [00:10:48]:

So That that’s I’m I’m assuming that’s like a trailer on the back of a a a a Ford 5th 150 f 150. Yeah.

Sam [00:10:55]:

Yeah. Yeah. And it’s America. So it just I think it was just a normal trailer, but it’s like you probably put 3 cars on it. It’s like,

Chris [00:11:02]:

it was huge. Anyway

Sam [00:11:03]:

Yeah. But they picked it up With the, they had photos of it, like, the day before or whatever 2 days before when they were loading it, and they sometimes use, like, a bobcat. Yeah. Well, they like to call a skid skid steer. So they’re doing that, but they had 3 people on the back of it to help keep the weight down so it wouldn’t tip.

Chris [00:11:22]:

On the back of the Bobcat.

Sam [00:11:23]:

Yeah. There are always people on

Chris [00:11:24]:

the back of this Bobcat,

Sam [00:11:25]:

you know, safe as. Anyway, he, he he took it, And he won, he got the world record, beating it by 47 pounds. So two £1,749 is the new world record. 1,246 kilos is what that is.

Chris [00:11:44]:

Wow.

Sam [00:11:44]:

Pretty cool to see, Chris

Chris [00:11:45]:

Holy crap.

Sam [00:11:46]:

How they do it, they have a stage, and the pumpkin gets lifted up onto the stage. They’ve got 4 forklifts moving all the pumpkins around. They they bring it over on a pallet. That one shoots off out the back somewhere. Another one comes and lifts the pumpkin up and onto the scales. And the scales don’t work until the guy presenting presses the button. So he pressed the button all the digits, and he looks at it, and it’s probably like a split second, and then he realizes it’s got the world record. Super excited.

Chris [00:12:11]:

Oh, that’s cool.

Sam [00:12:12]:

But There’s a guy growing seed a pumpkin from the seed from his last year’s one, the heaviest one that yeah. In Minnesota, of all places, And it might be even bigger, and it’s getting weighed this weekend.

Chris [00:12:27]:

Oh, right. Right. He didn’t he didn’t pull it out of the ground early and bring it all the way to Half Moon Bay.

Sam [00:12:32]:

Well, Half Moon Bay is a really big event in the pumpkin world Yeah.

Chris [00:12:35]:

Yeah. Yeah.

Sam [00:12:35]:

But they’ve never ever had a world record in 50 years.

Chris [00:12:38]:

So even if they’ve only got it for a week, They got a

Sam [00:12:41]:

Yeah. Plus, he won $30,000.

Chris [00:12:45]:

Holy crap.

Sam [00:12:46]:

I think he gets a bonus if nobody beats it this year. Oh, something like that, but, we’ll see. Anyway, it’s been it’s been happening in the pumpkin world.

Chris [00:12:57]:

That’s that’s pretty cool. I alright.

Sam [00:13:00]:

No. If you’re if you’re questioning it, don’t talk about it.

Chris [00:13:04]:

Okay. No. I have to get off my chest. Right? So what is your what is your thoughts about this whole Israeli thing?

Sam [00:13:10]:

Well, I think, it’s just a little bit crazy at the moment.

Chris [00:13:13]:

It’s insane.

Sam [00:13:14]:

Hamas has gone in, And, for whatever reason, they decided to do what they like to do, which is extreme violence.

Chris [00:13:21]:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I’m I’m

Sam [00:13:24]:

It sounds like they got pretty hammered just recently today, I think, at time of the recording.

Chris [00:13:29]:

So What what bugs me about that is it’s not Hamas necessarily that’s getting hammered. It’s the Palestinians and Gaza that’s getting hammered. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Sam [00:13:37]:

Exactly. Exactly.

Chris [00:13:38]:

So, Okay. Yeah. So first of all, there is no no reason to go and do that slaughter of innocents that hamast it. Like, I’m not condoning that In any way, shape, or form.

Sam [00:13:49]:

Okay.

Chris [00:13:50]:

2nd point. How did Israel think this was not gonna happen the way they’ve been treating the Palestinians for the last 20 years?

Sam [00:13:58]:

Yes.

Chris [00:13:58]:

Right? So, like

Sam [00:14:00]:

But Hamas themselves got voted in.

Chris [00:14:02]:

Yeah. But Palestine is not the Gaza Strip is not a separate country. No. It’s still part of Israel.

Sam [00:14:09]:

Yes.

Chris [00:14:09]:

They just built a fence around it and won’t let the Palestinians in and out of it. Right? So it’s an apartheid state, Effectively, just 22 2,

Sam [00:14:18]:

parts to it.

Chris [00:14:18]:

Yeah. 22 laws. Yeah. There’s a law for them, and there’s a law for us. And, you know, it wouldn’t be

Sam [00:14:22]:

I guess the real Question is is, like, America’s bringing warships just in case because, you know, they get all chubbed up over this. You know, they’re like, conflict somewhere else. Bring in the gear. Bring over the gear, guys, and now just just in case.

Chris [00:14:36]:

Yeah. But what what gets me is is all these politicians, they, In one hand, they’re saying there’s no, justification to go and kill slaughter innocent people, which I agree with.

Sam [00:14:46]:

Yeah.

Chris [00:14:46]:

But then they go, but the Israelis have the right to defend themselves by bombing palace, you know, Gaza, which if you’d see that, the this The people living on top of each other.

Sam [00:14:57]:

I know. It’s crazy. Well, I I saw some footage today, live footage. I think it was earlier today, and there’s, like, It’s like nothing. Yeah. I know. Just obliterated.

Chris [00:15:05]:

And so yeah. I don’t know. I it it really I just find it very, very distressing Overall, but what gets me is the politicians that say things like and this is the other thing. Antisemitism.

Sam [00:15:18]:

Okay.

Chris [00:15:19]:

Okay? So We don’t talk about that in New Zealand. I don’t think. Do it’s not a thing here.

Sam [00:15:25]:

Not really. No. Not really.

Chris [00:15:26]:

It’s it isn’t. And but over in the States is a big thing, And it’s really good marketing. So, basically, what they’ve got is racism, but they’ve named it something else. So it’s a special sort of racism because it’s anti Semitism, and it’s like, yeah. It’s not really anti Semitism. It’s just political Discourse, really, in in terms of being there, for the Palestinians. They’re being oppressed, so it’s an oppressor thing. It’s not about, eradicating the juice.

Chris [00:15:57]:

Anyway, that’s my opinion.

Sam [00:15:58]:

Okay. Onto something a bit happier. There vehicle. There was a Queen Elizabeth assassination plot, by a star

Chris [00:16:08]:

up here.

Sam [00:16:08]:

By a Star Wars fanatic encouraged by a chatbot to kill the queen.

Chris [00:16:11]:

When was this then?

Sam [00:16:13]:

Well, It was about 2 years ago when he was caught at caught with a loaded crossbow ready to go. I’m here to kill the queen, he declared on Christmas Day in 2021 When they said, What?

Chris [00:16:25]:

At the gates of the palace?

Sam [00:16:27]:

He was on the grounds of the castle, and the cop said, can I help you, mate? And he goes, yep. I’m here to kill the queen. He was wearing a metal mask, which was inspired by the dark dark Sith forces.

Chris [00:16:39]:

Oh my god.

Sam [00:16:41]:

And because he’s a Sikh Indian. He wanted to kill the monarch to avenge the 1919 Jallianwala Bha massacre Where British troops open fire on thousands of Indians and, yeah.

Chris [00:16:54]:

See, this is exactly the same thing as the Gather thing. It’s just

Sam [00:16:57]:

He thought he’d he’d been thinking about this since he was a teenager, and, obviously, he’d been only sharing it with Sarai, his artificial intelligent generated girlfriend.

Chris [00:17:06]:

Yeah. He’s got problems.

Sam [00:17:08]:

And and they said, yeah. They and he got he’s so he got 9 years.

Chris [00:17:12]:

Well, that that’s good. He got 9 years because If he was in America, he would already be dead.

Sam [00:17:19]:

Well, that’s alright.

Chris [00:17:21]:

Oh, that’s so funny. Alright. So one of the things I I found out about Show Me Shorts. So there’s a there was and this was a couple of people that came up on the stage. I got to chat with them later. It was Katie and Ian Bignall. Okay. And they have a company called Festival Formula, and It just blew my mind.

Chris [00:17:41]:

It’s such a great idea, and I just like, of course, that’s the best way to do it. So when you’ve made a short film, really, what you wanna do is get it into festivals, you go to a thing called free Film Freeway is the most common one these days, and you, pay money to be Submit to all these festivals. Yeah. Now that can go from anywhere from $5 at the low end to $150 at the high end.

Sam [00:18:05]:

Yep.

Chris [00:18:06]:

And we pay that, Doesn’t mean you get in. No. It means they’ll look at it, and maybe you’ll get in.

Sam [00:18:11]:

I know Guy and Harley have talked about it, and they said, after a while, when you’re a Independent filmmaking, you don’t have much money. You have to be selective of which festivals you send it to.

Chris [00:18:23]:

Oh, yeah. And it’s there’s a whole other layer to that. There’s the layer of the premiers. Okay. So the very first time it’s shown, it’s the world premiere. Yes. Then the very first time it’s shown outside of your country, it’s the international premiere. Oh, yeah.

Chris [00:18:36]:

Make it in New Zealand. Yeah. The 1st time it’s shown, if it whether it’s in New Zealand or whether it’s anywhere, it’s The world premiere. 2nd time is the, the international premiere outside of your country. Yep. And then you have the North American and the European and the Asian, And then they’ll go to the, East Coast premier in the States, and then it’ll go to the state, premier, and then you go to the, Has this been shown in New York before? No. It’s the New York premiere. Gosh.

Sam [00:19:00]:

Get you get those little Yeah. Get the little logo things.

Chris [00:19:03]:

But you can’t get into certain festivals if it’s not a Premier, especially the big ones. Right?

Sam [00:19:08]:

Okay.

Chris [00:19:08]:

So then it’s like, well, that means I have to apply for that, and I can’t apply for the others till I hear from that. Yeah. Because if I Get into one of these other ones that are beforehand, and I show it, then they go, yeah. We’re interested in you. Like, oh, it’s already been shown. They’re like, no. Don’t worry. So there’s a whole strategy to this, Which I I knew that.

Sam [00:19:25]:

Okay.

Chris [00:19:25]:

But this camp company, festival formula, they actually are an English couple. Okay. They’re based in the UK, And they fly around the world to all these, events. They know which ones are real and which ones are scams. Yes. There’s a load of scams. Make it up. And there’s pseudo ones as well.

Chris [00:19:41]:

Pseudo ones are ones that, yeah, they’re a real festival, but they don’t advertise, and they just Book a hotel room and they show the movie, and they go, well, no. Well, I only had 3 people show up, but, you know, we we we’re legit because we Showed the film.

Sam [00:19:57]:

Yeah. Okay.

Chris [00:19:59]:

Meanwhile, they’re raking in 1,000 of dollars from these submissions.

Sam [00:20:02]:

So what do these guys do?

Chris [00:20:03]:

So what they do is they you send them the film, And you can send them a film, and they’ll, watch it and give you some notes straight off the bat with it, you know,

Sam [00:20:13]:

free. Okay.

Chris [00:20:14]:

And then you play pay a fat a flat fee, which I is I I think There’s there’s a couple of levels, but a £1,000 was the one I was thinking that that makes sense. £1,000, and you have a £1,000 budget. And they’ll they’ll look at your film. They say, this will fit with these festivals. What is it? What’s your goal? What are you trying to do out of this? Because we had chat, and I said, well, you know, in the film we’re going to be working on next, Adam’s goal is to, Get the right eyes on it so that he can get his feature done. Right? Yes. She goes, right. That’s perfect because you’ve got a goal.

Chris [00:20:53]:

Then we go, right. So these are the, festivals we wanna go for, and they’ll give you the order in which you wanna apply for them and which ones to go for and which ones not to and all the rest of that. And then, like, The worst thing you can do is drink wine and go onto Film Freeway because because your credit card just gets pinged to hell. Submit. Submit. Submit. Yeah. Yeah.

Chris [00:21:13]:

Because I’ve done that. So yeah. So it’s really good. And if you if you pay 1,000, they they give you that, what to do. Or if you pay them 2,000 flat fee And then have at least a £1,000 budget, they do everything for you. They do all the submissions they will get. And, yeah, and they’ve been doing it for 20 years. Oh, wow.

Chris [00:21:32]:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That’s cool. It’s just brilliant. I’m like, you you’re almost I mean, You know, nothing wrong with making a film, putting it out there, and doing it yourself.

Sam [00:21:41]:

Yeah.

Chris [00:21:41]:

But if you’ve got a goal to get somewhere, but it’s that whole Just makes sense to do it.

Sam [00:21:46]:

It’s like, We know this. It’s like coaching. Speaker coaching, business coaching, anything like that. These people, like, I wasn’t sure how long they’ve been around. Well, once you said 20 years, I was like, okay. They know some stuff.

Chris [00:21:57]:

Yeah. Yeah. Because you if you see company’s been 14 years, and she’s been doing it 19.

Sam [00:22:02]:

Wow.

Chris [00:22:02]:

Like, she was doing it before she started the company. Yeah.

Sam [00:22:04]:

Yep. That’s very cool. Very niche.

Chris [00:22:07]:

Very niche

Sam [00:22:07]:

because not

Chris [00:22:08]:

not features. Not anything else. Just short film.

Sam [00:22:11]:

Talking about niche, and I don’t have the notes in front of me, so I don’t know what the company’s called. There’s a company in Auckland that has been working for 30 years, husband and wife, and now the son is the managing director. They organize trips For sports, schools, and whatever to go on tours in the US, and they’re based here. So they help out New Zealand Schools or groups, whatever, that need to go overseas, but primarily the US. And they’ve been doing it for over 30 years, and Some big company overseas, I think it was a UK crowd it was, rang the guy up and says, how much would you sell your business for? And he just said a random figure

Chris [00:22:52]:

A big one, I hope.

Sam [00:22:53]:

Which was apparently very good because it’s paid everything off for his parent, and and they said, yep. We’ll do that. No worries. So, his parents are now fully retired. Everything’s paid off. They can’t believe it happened because they weren’t they were just happy doing their job. They weren’t, planning to sell.

Chris [00:23:08]:

Is he is he is he still employed by us? Because that’s what they do

Sam [00:23:11]:

a lot of the time. Yeah. He’s still the whatever market, the manager

Chris [00:23:15]:

or whatever. Yeah.

Sam [00:23:15]:

And I don’t know if that’s a fixed term thing or whatever, but he’s still there. And, they they this crowd, overseas is like, yep. We we want To do that and offer that that could be yours.

Chris [00:23:28]:

If you talk to well, you know, Hamozi does it, and, Cody does it, and a few others Talk about it all the time. And often, they’ll buy things, and the owner is on more money

Sam [00:23:41]:

Yeah.

Chris [00:23:42]:

As a salary, has a bunch of cash in the bank Yep. To pay off mortgages and all the rest of it or have some some toys. And they’re happy because they can do what they want, and they don’t have to think about all the rest because the owners, the new owners, know how to run the business and do the marketing for them. Yeah. Yeah. It’s it’s brilliant.

Sam [00:24:01]:

So I think it was a good outcome, and it just, you know, just shows you.

Chris [00:24:06]:

That that’s awesome. That’s awesome.

Sam [00:24:08]:

Do you know what sucks?

Chris [00:24:09]:

What sucks?

Sam [00:24:11]:

When you’re it’s a 128 years ago and you decide to, be a thief And you accidentally get mummified by a experimental undertaker, and then you’re kept at the funeral home for those 128 years. Okay.

Chris [00:24:27]:

Do you need to give me more details? He

Sam [00:24:29]:

Since his death, he was known as stone man Willie. I don’t think it’s his real name. Oh, no. Because he refused to provide his real name, and then he got sick and died in 18/95 in Pennsylvania.

Chris [00:24:41]:

Oh, wow. Okay.

Sam [00:24:42]:

And, they just kept them there mummified.

Chris [00:24:45]:

So let’s So they’re playing with the mummification, and they went, oh, let’s Mummified this guy? Chris. He he hasn’t got any relatives because he well, nobody knows who he is, so we’ll just mummify him.

Sam [00:24:56]:

Well, that’s right. So they put him in a tuxedo, of course. There’s a little video here. You can see him in his creepy, creepy glory. And for years, the some of the funeral home owners have been trying to secure a proper burial For this guy. This guy was experimenting back in the day with, innovative arterial embalming. It was still pretty new back then. There was no recipe for this, so you just made it up as you do.

Sam [00:25:25]:

And there he is, 128 years old, just laying there.

Chris [00:25:28]:

Wow. He looks pretty good.

Sam [00:25:31]:

Yeah. It’s not too bad. He looks like, what’s that funny superhero dude?

Chris [00:25:35]:

The, the one with the wings.

Sam [00:25:38]:

No. Marvel.

Chris [00:25:39]:

No. I was thinking the Marvel dude with the wings.

Sam [00:25:41]:

The Marvel robot dude with the red face. Someone will tell us what it is. Do you know who will Jeremy Howes will be screaming at this podcast telling me that’s,

Chris [00:25:50]:

What? Like Iron Man or something?

Sam [00:25:51]:

No. No. It’s like TV show recently, and it’s miss Marvel, is it? And then the red dude. Anyway, someone will correct me on that.

Chris [00:25:57]:

I don’t know.

Sam [00:25:58]:

He also hassled us about not wanting to well, AJ Hackett,

Chris [00:26:02]:

was it? The bungee jumps. Yeah.

Sam [00:26:03]:

We weren’t gonna hack

Chris [00:26:04]:

it. AJ Hackett. That’s right. Thank you. Very funny. Very good.

Sam [00:26:07]:

Took me a few seconds to figure out what the hell he’s talking about. I was like, what’s going on?

Chris [00:26:11]:

I got it straight away. No.

Sam [00:26:12]:

That’s good.

Chris [00:26:13]:

Hey. Sorry to keep this on the film thing.

Sam [00:26:16]:

Oh, yeah.

Chris [00:26:16]:

You’re good. Adam Adam told me about a film on the way up, and it’s called The Act of Killing. Oh,

Sam [00:26:23]:

I can

Chris [00:26:23]:

give you a copy of it if you like because I’ve I’ve downloaded it and watched it. It’s not The sort of thing you wanna watch, you probably only wanna watch it once Yeah. But holy crap. It’s mental. And so this Dutch guy, he’s gone to Indonesia. And In the sixties, they had a big thing about communism. Okay. And so the military took over, and they went, We gotta get rid of these communists, but if we do it, then it just looks bad.

Chris [00:26:55]:

We’ll just get the gangsters to kill all the communists.

Sam [00:26:58]:

That makes sense.

Chris [00:26:58]:

And so these gangsters went around and killed all these people. And so this Dutch guy’s gone over, and he goes, we wanna make a film to celebrate what you did to Rescue the country from these Yeah. These communists. And so they’re interviewing these guys who are in their seventies.

Sam [00:27:15]:

I vaguely remember this. I think I’ve seen the trailer.

Chris [00:27:18]:

Who who basically yeah. It was 2011, I think it was, who basically killed This guy must have killed almost a 1000 people. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He’s killed a 1000 people. And it’s really interesting because they get They do these films, and they’re doing these scenes, and he’s putting it together as a film.

Chris [00:27:36]:

And he’s really, into it, this 1 guy. There’s about 3 or 4 of these gangsters. One big fat guy, and these are scary people. He’s in drag for all the season. I don’t I don’t know what’s going on. It’s dirt my head.

Sam [00:27:49]:

Don’t worry about that. He’s

Chris [00:27:51]:

he’s he’s become Honestly, it’s it’s it’s creepy, and it’s like, You’ve gotta watch this stuff to go, oh, yeah. Humans are weird, and they are dangerous, and they do weird things.

Sam [00:28:05]:

Yeah.

Chris [00:28:05]:

But but by the end of the film, because he’s getting to reenact all these things Yeah. They start breaking up. They start, Like, breaking down a bit. Mhmm. Because at one point, there’s a guy in the crew. He goes, oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Chris [00:28:17]:

My my stepfather. Like, he he he got together with my mom when I was a baby, so he was Father. Yeah. Yeah. When you when he was 12, somebody knocked on the door. My mom said, don’t go out there. And he opened the door, and we just heard the yell and scream, and, we found his body the next day. Yeah.

Chris [00:28:34]:

You know? But I don’t blame you for it, and it was just weird. It was

Sam [00:28:40]:

Okay.

Chris [00:28:41]:

Yeah. Anyway, The Act of Killing,

Sam [00:28:43]:

is Yeah. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen

Chris [00:28:45]:

it. Huge award winning film that I I never seen.

Sam [00:28:47]:

I think I’d heard of it Because that what you just said when they went to go talk to those people sounded familiar. Yeah. We’ve almost come to the end, so you’re gonna have to talk about sharks and god knows what.

Chris [00:28:58]:

So, yeah, I I just this is for Adam. So, Adam. Yeah. That’s for everyone because

Sam [00:29:03]:

this is just a weird story that you have somehow Forgotten to talk about in the last 9 years.

Chris [00:29:08]:

Yeah. Yeah. So as as, I was 18 years old. We went over to, Australia. My boss at the time had a timeshare, so he let me use the timeshare.

Sam [00:29:17]:

Okay.

Chris [00:29:17]:

So there’s 4 of us all all around the same age, 18.

Sam [00:29:20]:

Okay.

Chris [00:29:22]:

And which was really cool because in Australia, that time, you could drink. In Australia, 18. In in New Zealand, you had to be 20. Oh, okay. So not not that that Stop me anyway. I I can’t go. I was going in anyway, but you know what I mean. So, anyway so we went over there, and we we spent the day at the beach, And we’re down at, Surfers Paradise Yeah.

Chris [00:29:41]:

On the beach there. And I remember yeah. It was interesting because that was my first experience of a topless at a beach. Okay. And I swear And that was just you. No. Carry on. Sorry.

Chris [00:29:55]:

I swear this woman was Very, obviously, loving the fact that 14 times. From New Zealand just were going, Eyes popping out of their heads. Anyway, it was so funny because there was a guy doing I’m getting off track, but there’s a guy doing spray stun tans, And she ran over to him, and he’s doing this he’s a wheezened old guy with, like, wrinkles. He looks like he’s been on the beach for 300 years because he’s

Sam [00:30:21]:

just He’s probably only 14

Chris [00:30:22]:

years old. And all that. And she she’s puts her hands up, and he’s spraying her down. And then he lifts 1 breast up and sprays underneath. No Fresh and change, honest. No. We just about done.

Sam [00:30:34]:

When you just have a job, and you’re just like, I’ve gotta get through this. I’m gonna retire soon, and, you know, it’s what it is. It’s a job.

Chris [00:30:42]:

So, anyway, we we’ve been swimming in all the rest of it, and I went, oh, I’ll hide one of these, boogie boards. I hired a boogie board. Yep. Went out, and so I’m surfing in a little bit. I didn’t know what it’s doing. It was it was alright. Anyway, I was like, I want a bit of a rest. I’ll go out where it stopped Yeah.

Sam [00:30:58]:

Yeah.

Chris [00:30:58]:

Crashing, so I went out deeper.

Sam [00:31:00]:

Okay. And is there anyone else out there at this point?

Chris [00:31:02]:

There’s a couple of people Halfway between me and Shor, and I’m quite a way out.

Sam [00:31:07]:

Okay.

Chris [00:31:08]:

And I look over, and I see these guys are pulling the flags from side to side. I was like, What’s that guy doing? Yeah.

Sam [00:31:15]:

Yeah. Yeah. I would. Yeah. Okay.

Chris [00:31:16]:

We’re gonna Look. And there’s they’re doing it on both flags. Yep. You know, swim between the flags thing, and I’m like, The hell is going on? And then I see everybody getting out of the water, and this 1 guy these 2 guys are, like, closer to me. They you know? 1 guy yells to the other, There’s a shark in the water. Get out of the water.

Sam [00:31:32]:

And you’re like, oh, no. Oh, shit.

Chris [00:31:36]:

And I’m like, I am not Do I pedal? Yeah. Exactly. And I’m like, Nope. I am a log. I am just gonna lie on this board

Sam [00:31:45]:

On this little boogie board.

Chris [00:31:46]:

As a log, and I’m not moving. Because, like yeah. And I’m just watching. And and this, helicopter goes over, and then the, Boat starts coming up and down. Yeah.

Sam [00:31:58]:

Of course. Of course.

Chris [00:31:58]:

Because it’s like it’s the beach. Yeah. And this boat starts coming, and I wave at them, and they wave back. Fucking snap. I I’d swear. I was there for 20 minutes waiting for them to give the all clear, and I didn’t move. And every 2nd of that 20 minutes And are you like I’m imagining the teeth are about to claw chomp on my legs that are hanging down into the water. And so and I see my mates going like, pointing out at me from the beach.

Chris [00:32:26]:

I’m not moving. I’m just like, and then they finally give the all clear. I’m like, Not falling for that. I’ll wait till people get at us. That’s right. And by the time I paddle in, I’ve gone, like, 300 meters down the shore, like, I’ve drifted down, and I crawl out, and I go take the boogie board back. I’m not doing that. It just claps on the sand.

Chris [00:32:49]:

But, yeah, that’s my shark story. It was horrifying.

Sam [00:32:53]:

Oh, it would be, but, it’s Great that you’ve got

Chris [00:32:56]:

these stories. I can’t

Sam [00:32:59]:

believe you’ve never mentioned that before, but I guess it Yeah. Hasn’t really come up. I’m not sure. So make sure to join us in future podcast episodes while Chris remembers other things he’s done. Yeah. And, We’ll see you next time. I’m Sam.

Chris [00:33:12]:

I’m Chris.

Sam [00:33:13]:

See you.

Chris [00:33:13]:

Bye.